רפואה מן התורה
Healing from the Torah
Healing from the Torah
Parashat Vayechi
Genesis 47:28-50:26
Parashat Vayechi is not only the final parasha of the book of Genesis, but it also concludes the story of Jacob and his family. The narratives themselves are about Jacob, his children and in particular Joseph. In this drash we want to look at how each of their stories ended as a family reunited.
Jacob. Jacob, who began his life in a family where he manipulated his brother and deceived his father, dies in the presence of all his children and grandchildren. Before he passes it says, “and Jacob lived in the land of Egypt for 17 years,” something that for the Zohar is not just about a period of time but the time that Jacob lived in happiness after 22 years of sadness (cf. Zohar, Vayechi 15:113). Knowing that his son was alive allowed him to leave this life in peace, yet since he knew he wronged his brother by stealing his blessing from their father, Jacob made amends by blessing all of his children and just not one (cf. Gen. 49). Still, Jacob needed to reconcile things with Joseph first, making sure he is not buried in Egypt (Gen. 47:29). But why did Jacob have to say, “if I found favor in your eyes,” as opposed to just saying “please do not bury me in Egypt?” The Ohr Chaim teaches that Jacob did not call on his other sons because only Joseph had the power to make sure that Jacob could die in peace, but was it really just about the final place of his rest? There is no recorded father and son talk where Joseph and Jacob cleared the air about what happened, but surely as a father along the way wanted Joseph to know that if he knew he was alive would have not rested until Joseph was found. I do not think that Jacob was looking for Joseph's favor simply because he had the power to make sure things would happen, but this was a father who loved his son and wanted to leave the world knowing that their relationship was truly repaired.
The Brothers. Judah led his brothers as the architect behind the disappearance of Joseph and the deception of his death, Judah later willing to sacrifice his own freedom for his youngest brother Benjamin. Sure Jacob did not know what his sons did, and if he did maybe his blessings for them would have looked differently, but it was through the line of Judah that Israel’s future kings would descend (Gen. 49:8-12). When their father dies Rashi notes I think accurately that the brothers as they witnessed Joseph’s pain believed that Joseph's hand of punishment would now be upon them since his kindness to them was only out of respect to their father. Now, calling out Judah as the vocal leader of the brothers, I believe he had fear that was representative and was a fear that was partly rooted in a misguided sense of true forgiveness. See Judah was willing to take his brothers place because of the pain it would have caused their father, and I think on some level also believed that Joseph kept the peace for the same reason, which was to avoid the pain that fighting children would have caused their father in his final years. I do not think Judah or his brothers understand true forgiveness and for 17 years lived with the fear of what might happen if the truth came out, let alone after their dad died.
Joseph. Joseph as a teenager was separated from his family only to be enslaved and wrongly jailed before becoming the second most powerful man in the world. Last week we also saw that when he came face to face with his brothers, although not easy, Joseph was able to fully forgive them and therefore removed the negative powers of anger, revenge, feeling abandoned and regret just to name a few, using the power that he had to make his family’s life better. Now at the end Joseph is holding his father’s hand with tears running down his eyes, and when Jacob dies it is only Joseph who is recorded to have broken down and wept. So again, perhaps Judah seemed to think that Joseph and he shared the same motivation. In other words, as mentioned above when Judah was willing to sacrifice himself for Benjamin’s freedom he did so for the sake of his father, likely assuming that Joseph tolerated he and his brothers also for the sake of his father. Joseph was grievous over this and once again assures his brothers that his forgiveness to them was legitimate and encourages them to receive it, further adding that he is not their judge, which is God’s domain. On some level Joseph understood that effective forgiveness includes the forgiver and forgiven, and while he knew in his heart that he had truly forgiven his brothers, he was saddened that his brothers lived with the shame of being unable to accept his forgiveness and therefore forgive themselves.
Like an ecosystem the family is a unit. Jacob made sure that he and Joseph were reconciled with a healed relationship before he died. Judah and his brothers never seemed to believe that they were truly forgiven and therefore in the end lived with the burden of Joseph’s possible revenge. And finally, Joseph knew the power of forgiveness to heal but also that its effectiveness was compromised because it was a two-way relationship. In the Yom Kippur liturgy we read about the Ten Martyrs who echo a lack of reconciliation between Joseph and his brothers, something that unleashes the potentiality for future disputes.
Let me end with the story of Lot's wife who was told not to look back when they left Sodom, and when she did, she turned into a pillar of salt. Not forgiving, or receiving forgiveness, can have that type effect in our lives when we chose to look back and give past anger or brokenness power instead of seeking future healing or reconciliation. Chazak v'Chazakm v'nitchazek, be strong, be strong, and we will be strengthened.
Jacob. Jacob, who began his life in a family where he manipulated his brother and deceived his father, dies in the presence of all his children and grandchildren. Before he passes it says, “and Jacob lived in the land of Egypt for 17 years,” something that for the Zohar is not just about a period of time but the time that Jacob lived in happiness after 22 years of sadness (cf. Zohar, Vayechi 15:113). Knowing that his son was alive allowed him to leave this life in peace, yet since he knew he wronged his brother by stealing his blessing from their father, Jacob made amends by blessing all of his children and just not one (cf. Gen. 49). Still, Jacob needed to reconcile things with Joseph first, making sure he is not buried in Egypt (Gen. 47:29). But why did Jacob have to say, “if I found favor in your eyes,” as opposed to just saying “please do not bury me in Egypt?” The Ohr Chaim teaches that Jacob did not call on his other sons because only Joseph had the power to make sure that Jacob could die in peace, but was it really just about the final place of his rest? There is no recorded father and son talk where Joseph and Jacob cleared the air about what happened, but surely as a father along the way wanted Joseph to know that if he knew he was alive would have not rested until Joseph was found. I do not think that Jacob was looking for Joseph's favor simply because he had the power to make sure things would happen, but this was a father who loved his son and wanted to leave the world knowing that their relationship was truly repaired.
The Brothers. Judah led his brothers as the architect behind the disappearance of Joseph and the deception of his death, Judah later willing to sacrifice his own freedom for his youngest brother Benjamin. Sure Jacob did not know what his sons did, and if he did maybe his blessings for them would have looked differently, but it was through the line of Judah that Israel’s future kings would descend (Gen. 49:8-12). When their father dies Rashi notes I think accurately that the brothers as they witnessed Joseph’s pain believed that Joseph's hand of punishment would now be upon them since his kindness to them was only out of respect to their father. Now, calling out Judah as the vocal leader of the brothers, I believe he had fear that was representative and was a fear that was partly rooted in a misguided sense of true forgiveness. See Judah was willing to take his brothers place because of the pain it would have caused their father, and I think on some level also believed that Joseph kept the peace for the same reason, which was to avoid the pain that fighting children would have caused their father in his final years. I do not think Judah or his brothers understand true forgiveness and for 17 years lived with the fear of what might happen if the truth came out, let alone after their dad died.
Joseph. Joseph as a teenager was separated from his family only to be enslaved and wrongly jailed before becoming the second most powerful man in the world. Last week we also saw that when he came face to face with his brothers, although not easy, Joseph was able to fully forgive them and therefore removed the negative powers of anger, revenge, feeling abandoned and regret just to name a few, using the power that he had to make his family’s life better. Now at the end Joseph is holding his father’s hand with tears running down his eyes, and when Jacob dies it is only Joseph who is recorded to have broken down and wept. So again, perhaps Judah seemed to think that Joseph and he shared the same motivation. In other words, as mentioned above when Judah was willing to sacrifice himself for Benjamin’s freedom he did so for the sake of his father, likely assuming that Joseph tolerated he and his brothers also for the sake of his father. Joseph was grievous over this and once again assures his brothers that his forgiveness to them was legitimate and encourages them to receive it, further adding that he is not their judge, which is God’s domain. On some level Joseph understood that effective forgiveness includes the forgiver and forgiven, and while he knew in his heart that he had truly forgiven his brothers, he was saddened that his brothers lived with the shame of being unable to accept his forgiveness and therefore forgive themselves.
Like an ecosystem the family is a unit. Jacob made sure that he and Joseph were reconciled with a healed relationship before he died. Judah and his brothers never seemed to believe that they were truly forgiven and therefore in the end lived with the burden of Joseph’s possible revenge. And finally, Joseph knew the power of forgiveness to heal but also that its effectiveness was compromised because it was a two-way relationship. In the Yom Kippur liturgy we read about the Ten Martyrs who echo a lack of reconciliation between Joseph and his brothers, something that unleashes the potentiality for future disputes.
Let me end with the story of Lot's wife who was told not to look back when they left Sodom, and when she did, she turned into a pillar of salt. Not forgiving, or receiving forgiveness, can have that type effect in our lives when we chose to look back and give past anger or brokenness power instead of seeking future healing or reconciliation. Chazak v'Chazakm v'nitchazek, be strong, be strong, and we will be strengthened.
Shabbat Shalom!
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