Wednesday, December 28, 2022

You Can Run but You Cannot Hide - Parasha Yayigash, Genesis 44:18-47:27

I have a friend named Bill (father was Jewish, mother was Christian) who although he was raised with a bit of both faiths made Christianity his religion of choice.  Bill developed what I want to call the Jewish itch and during the week of Hanukkah one day proudly said to me, “Rabbi, it’s the fifth night of Hanukkah; I am heading home to light my candles.”  This reminded me of a teaching from the Talmud (Shabbat 23b) by the Rava, Abba ben Joseph bar Ḥama, who taught, "the Hanukkah lamp takes precedence due to publicity of the miracle,"  Bill wanted to display his Jewish identity for all to see just like Jews put the Hanukkah lights in the window to publicize the holiday.  While yes this may be a Jewish story in the end it is a people story because identity is important. The story of identity is a part of this weeks Torah reading, Parasha Vayigash.

Joseph, born and raised as Jacob’s son in the tradition of his great-grandfather Abraham, took on a new identity as a slave before his identity as a prisoner. Once he is taken out of prison and elevated to be Pharaoh’s right hand man, Joseph takes on yet another new identity.  Last week Joseph was given the Egyptian name “the sustainer of life,” or “Tzafa’nat-Panei’ach” and has two children whose names are about Joseph forgetting his past.  His first son is named Manasseh, which means, “God has made me forget my past,” and his second son is called  Ephraim that means “God will make me fruitful in this land of affliction,” the “me” being Joseph of course.  Joseph seeks to forget his past while viewing his current blessings to be birthed in a land of his afflictions, even though he seemingly has everything; his new identity is that of an Egyptian.  It is as an Egyptian that Joseph oversees the grain that his brothers came to Egypt from Canaan to buy during the famine.

One of the most moving scenes in Vayigash is when Judah makes an impassioned plea to whom he knows as Tzafa’nat-Panei’ach regarding the fate of his brother Benjamin and his father Jacob. The same Judah who helped master-mind Joseph’s slavery is now a man of compassion and love for his family, willing to step up for Benjamin in a way he did not do for Joseph. The power of that change seemed to be the final prying back of the layers of Joseph’s hidden Jewish family identity, in that very moment saying to his brothers, I am Joseph. Is my father still well?” But his brothers could not answer him, so dumbfounded were they on account of him” (Gen. 45:3). Upon their reunion, aside from the confusion were tears, yet our tradition does not always read those tears in a positive light.  Rashi, based on a Midrash (Gen. R. 93:12), teaches that the shared tears, between Joseph and Benjamin in particular, were over the future destruction of the Temples that would be built on Benjamin’s territory, itself as a direct result of the sale of Joseph into slavery (cf. Zohar Chadash, Vayetzei 57).  To me those tears were about self-discovery of family and reconnection.  Rabbi Shlomo Riskin reminds us that when Joseph wept he did so “dispute his legitimate reasons [not to yet] one can never really escape ones family, ones dwelling, and ones earliest influences.”  The issues of abandonment and anger were not powerful enough to erase Joseph's Jewish identity, or his family ties, even from their broken past.  

That is how I see my friend Bill's personal Jewish awakening, not all that different than Joseph, Bill's misplaced identity for many years is becoming meaningful as he finds its value and wholeness. The Hanukkah lights for Bill became what Rabbi Isaac Luria called an “entrance-way” back to Torah, but really it is an entrance way back into the community and its traditions, something that seems to be acting like a spiritual DNA for Bill.  Let me leave you with a little drash on identity. This new month is called Tevet or טֵבֵת in Hebrew.  The like word Tabat or טַבָּת in Hebrew means “in good condition,” or being in the “right way," or something that “you benefit” from. Bill benefited from his celebration of Hanukkah, beginning the new month looking to return to his past and culture, experiencing a new beginning in his Jewish life and identity as he rediscovers his Jewish self.  I came across a wonderful quote that I’d like to end with; “Nothing of me is original, I am the combined effort or everyone I have ever known.”  Identity is an integral part of who a person is, shaped by family, community and religious traditions, so when Joseph tried to hide from it he found out that did not work. There is truth to the saying, You Can Run but You Cannot Hide

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Adam  

Wednesday, December 21, 2022

I had a Dream Also and You? - Parasha Miketz, Genesis 41:1-44:17

Happy Hanukkah to all! Every year when we read parasha Yayeishev (from last week) and this week’s Miketz I scratch my head and ask; what is this section about dreams supposed to teach us?  I rarely share them, and almost never get into details, but 30 years ago I had two dreams that still have relevance for me today so I certainly relate to this section personally. The Talmudic sage, Rabbi Shimon ben Yochai, said, “Just like there can be no grain without straw there can be no dream without meaning,” and that is what I’d like to do today; look at the  meaning of Pharaoh’s dream now and Joseph’s dream then, but also now.        

After having his own (Gen. 37-5-11), and then interpreting the dreams of Pharaoh’s cupbearer and baker while he was in prison (Gen. 40-1-23), this week Joseph interprets Pharaohs dreams (Gen. 41:1-7).  Pharaoh dreamed about seven healthy and seven unhealthy cows and ears of grain with the unhealthy devouring the healthy.  Joseph tells Pharaoh that the seven healthy cows and ears of grain represent seven prosperous years of gathering grain in Egypt whereas the seven unhealthy cows and ears of grain represent seven years of famine. To address this matter, the unhealthy not devouring the healthy, Joseph comes up with a plan to store up the grain for food during the prosperous seven years so during the seven years of famine there will be enough food for all of Egypt; but also Egypt would have the ability and prosper financially by feeding the rest of the world.  Pharaoh then elevates Joseph to the second most powerful person in Egypt.

There was a very big difference between their dreams however. Joseph was only 17 years old when he had his two dreams that would not make sense for another 20 years.  Pharaoh had his two dreams interpreted within a few days, dreams having to do with his immediate rule (Gen. 41:14-37).  Maybe because he knew his role the meaning of Pharaoh’s dreams came quickly, whereas for Joseph not so much.  Joseph would go through heartache and pain, family disappointments and difficulties, sold into slavery, falsely accused of a crime that landed him in prison, only then becoming the second most powerful person in the world before marrying a daughter of Pharaoh’s nobility, taking on the responsibilities as a husband and then a father.  Yet, when his brothers appeared before him 20 years later to buy food during the famine ONLY in that moment did his dreams make sense that he’d rule over his brothers (Gen. 48:8).         

What would Joseph’s rule look like?  He could have ruled with an iron fist based on what his brothers did,  in fact he surely toyed with them to see how much they had changed if at all. But he also saw them with eyes of love and compassion that we encounter at various times when he wept (Gen. 42:44, 43:30 and also 45:1). The first time Joseph weeps is in response to his brother Reuven’s fear that they would all suffer for their sin against their brother all those years ago, but the Joseph they did not recognize “noted their distress” per the words of the Sfrono (Gen. 42:22-23).  Those emotions hit Joseph even harder when he saw his younger brother Benjamin for the first time, his compassion being “stirred up” unlike the first encounter with his brothers.   Again according to the Sfrono, Joseph felt the “the anguish his father and his brothers had experienced all these years” rather than his own hardships (Gen. 43:30). Perhaps Joseph had to go through all that he did so when the revelation of his dreams became  known to him he would be a leader of compassion and care and not a dictator who is harsh.  It took a long time for Joseph to become the man he needed to be in order to become the ruler he needed to be, only then could his dreams be fulfilled.

Regarding dreams we learn in the Talmud (Ber. 55b) that each person is “shown a dream only by their own thoughts,” ala Freud and the human subconscious, although the Talmud also teaches (Ber. 57b), “a dream is worthy of having the Divine Presence rest upon him,” or as in says in a Midrash (Gen. Rabbah 17:5), “a dream is a variety of prophecy,” meaning there is a divine element to it. The Jewish mystical tradition believes that good dreams stem from the higher worlds as we learn from Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzatto (18th-century kabbalist). R’Luzzatto writes that dreams have a scientific approach that impacts our thoughts and emotions but also agrees with the Talmudic sages that dreams can have prophetic significance as well (see Derech Hashem 3:1:6). For Luzzatto when asleep the human soul interacts with external spiritual forces that in turn enters the subconscious awareness and affects the content of our dreams. Rabbi Chaim Volozhin, in the 19th century, explains that the relationship between the physical and spiritual aspects of dreams are made known by speech that bridges the spiritual and the physical worlds, speech articulates a dream-state into a reality.

Therefore, one of the takeaways in parasha Miketz is about valuing our dreams and the journey to understand them.  Okay maybe not everyone dreams, and maybe not everyone believes that dreams come from God, but we all have modes to create and process from another dimension or the sense of other, meaning that there are those who do believe that their dreams come from a divine source and/or inspiration; dreams you will know tomorrow or maybe not for another 20 years like Joseph.  A word of wisdom from Torah, which I value because of my own experiences, comes from Jacob, Joseph’s father. When Joseph shared his dreams to rule over his family he angered his father Jacob who responded with nothing but a thought; Jacob “kept the matter in mind” because he knew dreams, reminding us that dreams have purpose - so don't be quick to dismiss them.     

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Adam  

Wednesday, December 14, 2022

Breaking the chain of Generational Karma - Parasha Vayeishev, Genesis 37:1-40:23

Parasha Yayeishev begins the narratives about Joseph and his brothers that dominate the rest of Genesis. The words we read in Genesis really have a particular purpose, and they are to reflect the ways that Jews, really all people should strive to act since all human beings are fashioned with the divine image. Rabbi Ed Feinstein reflecting on the 2nd commandment, the one that says you shall not make any images of God, writes that we see God in each other; we are the image of God illuminated by our divine characteristics that we share with others daily.  But the human image can also be misappropriated and/or abused.  In this parasha we meet the ways of ga’avah (arrogance) and kin'ah (Jealousy or a grudge), something that I would say Rabbi Jonathan Sacks views as learned traits that do not represent that divine image.  As such, R’Sacks writes that the “tension” found in the prior relationship with Leah and her sister Rachel takes root in the next generation between their children, Joseph and his brothers. Unfortunately brokenness leads to generational unhealthiness, yet the Torah, vis-à-vis its teachings, also provides the cure. 

This parasha also contains a story within a story that at first glance may not seem connected but the opposite is so.  Yayeishev unfortunately begins poorly with negative, perhaps even learned interactions between Joseph and his brothers, ala R’Sacks above.  We read at the very start that Joseph brings (at least in the written Bible) an unspecified “bad report (about his brothers) to their father” that in turn angers them (Gen. 37).  After Joseph received a special Coat of Colors from his father, and had two dreams that one day he would rule over his family, his brothers “hated Joseph” because of his ga’avah (arrogance).  As a result they end up selling Joseph into slavery needing to create lies to cover up their misdeeds that are rooted in their kin'ah, jealousy of their brother.  Before the story continues about Joseph being a slave (see Gen. 39), we encounter the story of Judah and his children that appears out of know where; the story within the story (Gen. 38).  In this story Judah’s eldest son marries Tamar but then dies, so Tamar is wedded to Judah’s next son, per the laws of “levirate marriage,” who would die as well.  Judah did not want to risk losing his last son, so after a lengthy delay Tamar who feels wronged by Judah to be left as an agunah (lit. "a chained women," she is stuck as still considered married) deceives her father-in-law into sleeping with her (she dressed like a harlot) and becomes pregnant. Three months later Judah finds out that his daughter-in-law is pregnant and is furious that she did so outside of marriage, until the following.  Tamar sent Judah items that belonged to the man who made her pregnant, those being a family seal, the cord to wear it around her neck and a walking stick, which were Judah’s “down payment” for the harlot’s services.  In that moment Judah was humbled when he knew it was Tamar, recognizing that how she ended up responding was in compassion and kindness instead of revenge or anger.

What Judah did with Tamar was regrettable, both in denying her marital rights at that time and paying for her services as a harlot.  It was bold of Tamar to speak up since the tradition of the day stoned to death a woman who became pregnant out of wedlock.  So while Jewish tradition gives varying reasons why this story was inserted in the middle of the Joseph story, I believe it is there to teach us a lesson about our better inspired humanity that is shaped by the divine image within while Joseph and his brothers are engrossed in their family squabbles and lost in conflict.   In fact Rabbi Jonathan Sacks would even say that what Tamar did with Judah was virtuous, her actions would “become a model” of behavior that fueled the words of the Talmud (Bava Metzia 59a) that says; “It is more comfortable for a person to cast himself into a fiery furnace, than to humiliate another in public to avoid being cast into the same furnace.”  Tamar could have called Judah out, telling everyone that it was her father-in-law that was the father of her child, but she elected to keep it between them and not to shame her father-in-law, or herself, in public.  We read in another Midrash (Genesis Rabbah 24:7), “Rabbi Tanchuma says, “If you do this (shame another) -- know that God made the person you put to shame also in [the divine] image,” meaning that when you wrongly shame another person you shame God.  For Tamar the divine image within Judah deserved respect, not shame.

Joseph brought shame upon his brothers by giving an unspecified evil report and by his arrogance whereas the brothers brought shame on Joseph by selling him into slavery as well as to their father by their lies.  In the midst of all that the Torah via the story of Judah and Tamar wants to at that same moment remind us that the divine image is one of love and respect. Keep in mind we are talking about unhealthy shame that our tradition compares to murder!  It is sad that we see this type of shame with children to each other via social media or with our politicians in Washington either within their own party or on the other side of the isle, not to mention everyone in-between in all walks of life. Unhealthy shaming has become common place and is far too easily accepted as the norm.  This week’s reading wants to tell us that in the midst of the brokenness of Jacob’s children Tamar reminds us of one of Judaism's central commandments; love another like yourself, or per the interpretation of Hillel, do not do to others what you do not want done to you, recalling that the cure for many ills can be found in our mutual respect for one another per the voice of Torah.  

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Adam  

Wednesday, December 7, 2022

The Nature of Jacob's Fear Might not be what We Thought - Parasha Vayishlach, Genesis 32:4-36:43

On Yom Kippur we do T’shuvah (returning to our better selves) that can include repentance, and therefore the need to ask for forgiveness.  In so doing Jewish tradition recognizes that we have a dual relationship to T’shuvah; Bein Adam Lamakom, between an individual and God, and Bein Adam Lachavoro, between an individual and another individual.  Seeking forgiveness from God when we have wronged another only has so much value when in reality we need to approach the wronged person and ask for their forgiveness.  Not an easy task and one that can be fear inducing; what happens if they do not accept what you came to offer?

After 22 years this is what Jacob is dealing with concerning his estranged brother Esau. Prior to their meeting we read that Jacob more than once had struggled with his connection to God (Bein Adam Lamakom) but now it’s a familiar connection that he must overcome in is brother (Bein Adam Lechavoro), a brother that he wronged more than once.  More than likely with that “fearful gut feeling” Jacob watched as his brother approached him, with his 400 men; the Torah tells us; “Esau ran to greet him. He embraced him and, falling on his neck, he kissed him; and they wept” (Gen. 33:4), Jacob was probably a little confused although maybe that was what he hoped for. Yet before that encounter, we read when Jacob heard that Esau was coming with his small army, he was greatly frightened in his anxiety” (Gen. 32:8).  A Midrash (Bereshit R. 76:2) asks the question why use two different words that carry the same meaning?  In response, to that Midrash, Rabbi Jonathan Sacks writes that those emotions are “physical and psychological,” making them perhaps similar but not identical although the result was the same - Jacob feared what might happen.  Further according to that same Midrash Jacob just did not respond the way he did because he was afraid of Esau’s words 22 years earlier, although while you cannot say that was not in play on some level, his concern was more so the unknown in the present. In this case Jacob’s “fear” was about what might happen to him whereas his “anxiety” was that he might have to kill to protect what was his. While Jacob is flying blind regarding what might happen he does not want that to impact how he reacts to meeting his brother once again.

After the two brothers embrace, Esau looks at all that Jacob has (instinctively knowing that his brother wants to appease him), and says “I have enough, my brother; let what you have remain yours.” In response Jacob then says “No, I pray you; if you would do me this favor, accept from me this gift; for to see your face is like seeing the face of God, and you have received me favorably. Please accept my present which has been brought to you, for God has favored me and I have plenty. And when he urged him, he (Esau) accepted” (Gen. 33:9-11).  In v. 10 Jacob brings his “tribute” (minchati, lit. ‘My tribute’) to his brother and in v.11 that tribute he calls a “gift” (birchati, lit. ‘My gift’).  In this case Jacob just did not want to bring Esau any old gift but wanted to give him his rightful blessing (same root as birchati, which is baruch that means "to bless"). Jacob is recalling that his brother missed his blessing so many years earlier and wants to, with no strings attached, bless his brother in the present.  This would be how Jacob asked for forgiveness from his brother (Bein Adam Lachavoro). 

To Jacob’s hope Esau accepted his gift, and they made amends, but I do not think Jacob's willingness to give was contingent on how Esau responded. Surely Jacob was willing to address the past but was more concerned about the present and beyond, but what happened if Esau rejected his gesture?  On that topic Jewish tradition teaches that after seeking forgiveness three times you have fulfilled your obligation, but the wronged person is also obligated to forgive, although it surely does not always work that way.  Jacob could have been shunned, rejected, made to grovel, shammed or been the subject of revenge. In their cultural tribal disrespect was met with violence, but this story, and later with Joseph and his brothers not to mention Yom Kippur, the Bibles view of forgiveness is about love and reconciliation not vengeance.

Today, why don’t people have that attitude, even people of the Bible, asking for forgiveness and it being accepted is illusive. I will be honest; I do not always find it easy going to others I have wronged (or have been misunderstood by) because I am fearful of how they might react, even more so those who are close to me like family and friends. What happens if my gesture is thrown back in my face, what if my desire to make amends is not embraced and the conflict continues, what happens if they belittle me and make me feel unworthy, what happens if I did not get any results, what is the point?  I might be a Rabbi but I am human with emotions. I know others who share those questions, and it is too bad that we even have to carry, and in too many cases bury, those concerns. Other times it’s not about forgiveness but being beholden; I know you want to give me something but then I owe you, so no thanks – taking away or losing out on someone just wanting to be kind.  So here is where Jacob is our example; he gives a gift for reconciliation and does get what he wants, but he gave his gift regardless of how his brother reacted.  Maybe if we stuck our neck out a bit more albeit an apology or just simply acts of kindness we might be presently surprised how others respond; that is the Jewish way after all.

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Adam  

Parashat HaShuvah - Ki Tisa - "The Wise Heart Does." Exodus 30:11-34:35, Haftarah, 1 Kings 18:1-39

Last week in Israel I experienced a great deal in a very short period of time.  Anyone who has any kind of pulse on Israel knows that what w...