The Mental Health of Esau

Given the events of the 7 people being killed at a Walmart last night – a Walmart 15min from where I live – on the heels of what happened in Colorado Springs, CO this past weekend, this week’s blog is driven by those tragic events (amongst others of course).  This shooting also made me recall the story a young boy who had anger issues, so his father told him that every time he was angry he needed to put a nail in the back fence.  Eventually the young boy had no more need to put nails in the fence; he learned to control his anger, so he shared this accomplishment with his father.  The father then told him to remove a nail from the fence each day he was not angry, and after a few months there was no more nails left in the fence. The father used the opportunity to teach him a very important lesson, saying; “My son, in the same way the nails have left marks in the fence that need to be repaired, anger can leave permanent scares on a person that we cannot see.”  This story made me further think of what we could not see in those who needlessly kill and therefore about the mental health of Esau.     

In this week’s parasha, Toledot (descendants) we read about Esau who is the first twin to come out of his mother’s womb; Jacob came out next grasping the heel of his brother as he entered the world; the grandchildren of Abraham and Sarah (Gen. 25:26).  While we have no direct background information about his childhood that may tell us why Esau rejects his birthright (although we do in a Midrash), instead opting for the food prepared by his brother Jacob after a long day of hunting (Gen. 25:32).  Yet later Esau sobs at the loss of his blessing to that same brother; perplexing (Gen. 27:34).  Regarding Esau, we meet three Esau’s in our Holy texts, the one in the written Torah, the Esau of the first temple period and the Esau of Rabbinic literature.   In the written Torah the late Rabbi Jonathan Sacks writes that Toledot seeks to capture “our sympathies” throughout this chapter for Esau rather than Jacob. Well this is the reality; Jacob could have fed Esau without manipulating the birthright and what type of son deceives his own father and metaphorically punches his brother in the gut, again!  In the text Esau was a troubled young man more than he was a bad guy, the Talmud teaching that Esau had the free-will to choose his path (Niddah 16b).  The view of Esau being a purveyor of wickedness seems to have been the prevailing view of the latter books of Tanakh (Old Testament; see Psalm 137:7 of Obadiah 1:18), which then fed the view that Edom and Esau came to represent Rome, an enemy of the Jews who was responsible for the destruction of the second Temple, and later negative Rabbinic views. 

The Rabbinic view, as taught by Rashi, recalls a Midrash that says when Rebekah’s children leaped in her womb Jacob would do so as they passed a house of Torah and Esau would do so when they passed a place of idolatry.  In fact Rabbi Shlomo Chaim Kesselman (Chabad) teaches that Isaac actually wanted his son Esau to discover his lofty soul, his own divine image, gifted with extraordinary spiritual powers, Isaac wanted to shower Esau with the Godly light that would empower him to pull through his struggles, whereas Rebekah recognized that the blessings would be ineffective in empowering Esau, so she helped Jacob to decisive his father Isaac to give Jacob the blessings instead. R’Kesselman further teaches that in response to Esau’s rightful objections his father Isaac seems to also have become soiled, saying, “If it is true that you sold him your birthright, then he is the one who deserves the blessings.”  Esau became a symbol of wickedness and unfaithfulness in Judaism.   

Can you image, in the story I shared, how the young boy with the anger issues might have turned out if his father did not believe in him?  Perhaps Esau just rejected his birthright because he was not in the same place as Jacob spiritually and did not see the value of the birthright over his hunger?  Perhaps Esau cried the way he did over the blessing because by then he recognized the importance of those family values? Perhaps Esau would have not gone out and married a Canaanite woman against his father wishes if his own mother loved and believed in him as opposed to helping Jacob steal what was not his?  Perhaps Esau would have turned out differently, and therefore our tradition as well, if Esau had the support of his family as he was figuring life out?  Therefore, I wonder if we pay more attention as a society would we help to prevent these needless killings? I wonder how things may look today concerning people’s destructive and deadly actions if we find better ways to address this part of people’s needs much earlier.  I wonder why we just do not hear enough conversation about this societal scare that impacts all of us?  I could go on. 

Be grateful for everyday and Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Adam