Parasha Matot-Maesi, Our Word is Our Bond; Numbers 30:2-36:13, Haftarah, Jeremiah 2:4-28, 4:1-2

This week is a double parasha, Matot-Masei, and is the last reading in Numbers as they are still waiting on the banks of the Jordan about to cross into Canaan after their long 40-year journey. You can only imagine the people, wide eyed as they longed to look at this land across the water that they had only heard about for many years, a reality about to come true.  As such, Moses is doing his best to instruct this incipient nation that there is a way to be, a way to act, and a way to treat each other.

So, in this concluding reading we find words regarding their final battle with the Midianites as well as the need for the tribes to support each other in their joint conquest to settle the land.  We also read about a recap, a life review if you will, about the journey itself, and given the nature of people, the need to setup cites of refuge where others can be safe from vigilantes who feel they are judge, jury and executioner, ending with the integrity of the tribes themselves to stay together.  But we are also in the count down to Tisha B'av, which is why our Haftarah comes from Jerimiah and how the tongue was connected to the destruction of the temple that scattered the Jewish people into the wilderness once again.

In short it appears to be about societal order to keep this people from chaos. Yet in the very beginning of this Torah parasha we encounter words about vows and oaths, both for men and women alike, a topic that is so important that an entire tractate of Talmud, called Nedarim, is dedicated to the idea of vows; a topic that is too large to address in a mere blog post. Yet our verse of interest is from Numbers 30:3 that says: “If a householder makes a vow to Adonai or takes an oath imposing an obligation on himself, he shall not break his pledge; he must carry out all that has crossed his lips.”  A vow is a promise to God, or something promised to God.  Likewise, a vow is about an object whereas the oath is about the person who makes it, or do you take it, or is it both?  It makes sense where it is placed: Israel is about to enter the land and they must be able to count on each other, their word is their bond so to speak. But the idea of a vow and/or oath took a different path as Judaism developed.

In the Talmud, from Nedarim, the Rabbi’s understood vows quite differently. Firstly, they were connected to the Nazerite vow since the Nazerite made vows of abstinence (Nedarim 1a), which seem to differ from the idea of vows as voluntary offerings that Israel was to bring before God per Numbers 29:39.  This is the view of Leviticus 7:16 where zevachim, or sacrifices, are understood to be nedarim, or vows, made to God.  Secondly, the same Talmudic tractate teaches that a vow is a bad thing to make (also see Shulchan Arukh, Yoreh De'ah, Siman 203). Not only is it because the wicked can also make vows, therefore possibly making vows to bad things, but according to Rabbi Meir even if it is a free-willing offering and therefore fulfilled, it is better that a person “does not take a vow at all” (BT Nedarim 9b).  In the end a vow is a “stumbling-block” because it is setting someone up for failure; what if it cannot be fulfilled for this reason or another? (Nedarim 10a).

The Talmud gives us the basis then for the Kol Nidre prayer of Yom Kippur, “All vows, etc. and oaths …,” because vows and oaths bring on sin and on Yom Kippur such sins are removed by the imagery of the Heavenly court.  But my intent here is not to write a theology about vows or oaths, per se, asking if we should or should not say them.  Vows should also not be seen as simply a vehicle of abstinence, but words of self-direction and conviction. We therefore read in a Midrash (Genesis Rabbah 70:1) about Jacob our forefather who made a vow that says, “Jacob was the first to utter a vow, therefore when one vows he should refer the vow to him [only]. Rabbi Abbahu said: "It is written, How he swore unto the Lord, and vowed unto the Mighty One of Jacob (Psalm 132:2). It does not say, the Mighty One of Abraham or Isaac, but unto the Mighty One of Jacob, thus referring the vow to him who was the first to give it utterance." What can we learn from this?

Vows and oaths are personal declarations or acts or actions that derive from a self-imposed or self-affirming choice.  We see this in Pirkei Avot 3:13 that speaks to the nature of a s’yag, or fence, thus “vows [are] a fence [s’yag] to abstinence.”  What we do not want to miss here is that the “vow” is the “fence,” so what is a fence?  At its core a fence keeps something in, keeps something out, or separates what does not belong together, even if they are both good.  According to Rashi, commenting on the Pirkei Avot text above, a vow (and/or oath) is a when a person “verbally makes a vow not to do something,” something that is aided by a self-built fence of that three-fold direction.  But again, is this about abstaining?  In Mishlei, or Proverbs, in chapter 15 we read "The tongue of the wise enhances knowledge, but the mouth of the fool pours out folly."  Likewise, borrowing from the Christian tradition it says, “Look also at ships: although they are so large and are driven by fierce winds, they are turned by a very small rudder wherever the pilot desires. Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles!” Also, from the same tradition it says, “With it [the tongue] we bless our God, and with it we curse people, who have been made in the image of Divine (Christian quotes from James 3).

So, if a “vow” is a “fence,” and a “fence” can be the use of our “tongue” per Mishlei, then we can understand the words of our initial verse that a person “must carry out all that has crossed [their] lips.”  But these words that come from one’s tongue and cross their lips are vows and oaths of goodness to do what is right just as much as they are to abstain from doing and/or saying what is bad that can harm both self and others. Vows and oaths benefit everyone, and are never about personal gain at another’s expense, although they have everything to do with the light of our personal growth.  The power of vows and oaths rests in the commitment and integrity of who is making them and for what, hence what we say to each other carries more power than we may think or internalize. Yesterday, today and tomorrow our words become our bond, and our tongues have the power to shape relationships, institutions and communities, starting with our very own.

Shabbat shalom,
Rabbi Adam