You Can Run but You Cannot Hide - Parasha Yayigash, Genesis 44:18-47:27

I have a friend named Bill (father was Jewish, mother was Christian) who although he was raised with a bit of both faiths made Christianity his religion of choice.  Bill developed what I want to call the Jewish itch and during the week of Hanukkah one day proudly said to me, “Rabbi, it’s the fifth night of Hanukkah; I am heading home to light my candles.”  This reminded me of a teaching from the Talmud (Shabbat 23b) by the Rava, Abba ben Joseph bar Ḥama, who taught, "the Hanukkah lamp takes precedence due to publicity of the miracle,"  Bill wanted to display his Jewish identity for all to see just like Jews put the Hanukkah lights in the window to publicize the holiday.  While yes this may be a Jewish story in the end it is a people story because identity is important. The story of identity is a part of this weeks Torah reading, Parasha Vayigash.

Joseph, born and raised as Jacob’s son in the tradition of his great-grandfather Abraham, took on a new identity as a slave before his identity as a prisoner. Once he is taken out of prison and elevated to be Pharaoh’s right hand man, Joseph takes on yet another new identity.  Last week Joseph was given the Egyptian name “the sustainer of life,” or “Tzafa’nat-Panei’ach” and has two children whose names are about Joseph forgetting his past.  His first son is named Manasseh, which means, “God has made me forget my past,” and his second son is called  Ephraim that means “God will make me fruitful in this land of affliction,” the “me” being Joseph of course.  Joseph seeks to forget his past while viewing his current blessings to be birthed in a land of his afflictions, even though he seemingly has everything; his new identity is that of an Egyptian.  It is as an Egyptian that Joseph oversees the grain that his brothers came to Egypt from Canaan to buy during the famine.

One of the most moving scenes in Vayigash is when Judah makes an impassioned plea to whom he knows as Tzafa’nat-Panei’ach regarding the fate of his brother Benjamin and his father Jacob. The same Judah who helped master-mind Joseph’s slavery is now a man of compassion and love for his family, willing to step up for Benjamin in a way he did not do for Joseph. The power of that change seemed to be the final prying back of the layers of Joseph’s hidden Jewish family identity, in that very moment saying to his brothers, “I am Joseph. Is my father still well?” But his brothers could not answer him, so dumbfounded were they on account of him” (Gen. 45:3). Upon their reunion, aside from the confusion were tears, yet our tradition does not always read those tears in a positive light.  Rashi, based on a Midrash (Gen. R. 93:12), teaches that the shared tears, between Joseph and Benjamin in particular, were over the future destruction of the Temples that would be built on Benjamin’s territory, itself as a direct result of the sale of Joseph into slavery (cf. Zohar Chadash, Vayetzei 57).  To me those tears were about self-discovery of family and reconnection.  Rabbi Shlomo Riskin reminds us that when Joseph wept he did so “dispute his legitimate reasons [not to yet] one can never really escape ones family, ones dwelling, and ones earliest influences.”  The issues of abandonment and anger were not powerful enough to erase Joseph's Jewish identity, or his family ties, even from their broken past.  

That is how I see my friend Bill's personal Jewish awakening, not all that different than Joseph, Bill's misplaced identity for many years is becoming meaningful as he finds its value and wholeness. The Hanukkah lights for Bill became what Rabbi Isaac Luria called an “entrance-way” back to Torah, but really it is an entrance way back into the community and its traditions, something that seems to be acting like a spiritual DNA for Bill.  Let me leave you with a little drash on identity. This new month is called Tevet or טֵבֵת in Hebrew.  The like word Tabat or טַבָּת in Hebrew means “in good condition,” or being in the “right way," or something that “you benefit” from. Bill benefited from his celebration of Hanukkah, beginning the new month looking to return to his past and culture, experiencing a new beginning in his Jewish life and identity as he rediscovers his Jewish self.  I came across a wonderful quote that I’d like to end with; “Nothing of me is original, I am the combined effort or everyone I have ever known.”  Identity is an integral part of who a person is, shaped by family, community and religious traditions, so when Joseph tried to hide from it he found out that did not work. There is truth to the saying, You Can Run but You Cannot Hide. 

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Adam  

I had a Dream Also and You? - Parasha Miketz, Genesis 41:1-44:17

Happy Hanukkah to all! Every year when we read parasha Yayeishev (from last week) and this week’s Miketz I scratch my head and ask; what is this section about dreams supposed to teach us?  I rarely share them, and almost never get into details, but 30 years ago I had two dreams that still have relevance for me today so I certainly relate to this section personally. The Talmudic sage, Rabbi Shimon ben Yochai, said, “Just like there can be no grain without straw there can be no dream without meaning,” and that is what I’d like to do today; look at the  meaning of Pharaoh’s dream now and Joseph’s dream then, but also now.        

After having his own (Gen. 37-5-11), and then interpreting the dreams of Pharaoh’s cupbearer and baker while he was in prison (Gen. 40-1-23), this week Joseph interprets Pharaohs dreams (Gen. 41:1-7).  Pharaoh dreamed about seven healthy and seven unhealthy cows and ears of grain with the unhealthy devouring the healthy.  Joseph tells Pharaoh that the seven healthy cows and ears of grain represent seven prosperous years of gathering grain in Egypt whereas the seven unhealthy cows and ears of grain represent seven years of famine. To address this matter, the unhealthy not devouring the healthy, Joseph comes up with a plan to store up the grain for food during the prosperous seven years so during the seven years of famine there will be enough food for all of Egypt; but also Egypt would have the ability and prosper financially by feeding the rest of the world.  Pharaoh then elevates Joseph to the second most powerful person in Egypt.

There was a very big difference between their dreams however. Joseph was only 17 years old when he had his two dreams that would not make sense for another 20 years.  Pharaoh had his two dreams interpreted within a few days, dreams having to do with his immediate rule (Gen. 41:14-37).  Maybe because he knew his role the meaning of Pharaoh’s dreams came quickly, whereas for Joseph not so much.  Joseph would go through heartache and pain, family disappointments and difficulties, sold into slavery, falsely accused of a crime that landed him in prison, only then becoming the second most powerful person in the world before marrying a daughter of Pharaoh’s nobility, taking on the responsibilities as a husband and then a father.  Yet, when his brothers appeared before him 20 years later to buy food during the famine ONLY in that moment did his dreams make sense that he’d rule over his brothers (Gen. 48:8).         

What would Joseph’s rule look like?  He could have ruled with an iron fist based on what his brothers did,  in fact he surely toyed with them to see how much they had changed if at all. But he also saw them with eyes of love and compassion that we encounter at various times when he wept (Gen. 42:44, 43:30 and also 45:1). The first time Joseph weeps is in response to his brother Reuven’s fear that they would all suffer for their sin against their brother all those years ago, but the Joseph they did not recognize “noted their distress” per the words of the Sfrono (Gen. 42:22-23).  Those emotions hit Joseph even harder when he saw his younger brother Benjamin for the first time, his compassion being “stirred up” unlike the first encounter with his brothers.   Again according to the Sfrono, Joseph felt the “the anguish his father and his brothers had experienced all these years” rather than his own hardships (Gen. 43:30). Perhaps Joseph had to go through all that he did so when the revelation of his dreams became  known to him he would be a leader of compassion and care and not a dictator who is harsh.  It took a long time for Joseph to become the man he needed to be in order to become the ruler he needed to be, only then could his dreams be fulfilled.

Regarding dreams we learn in the Talmud (Ber. 55b) that each person is “shown a dream only by their own thoughts,” ala Freud and the human subconscious, although the Talmud also teaches (Ber. 57b), “a dream is worthy of having the Divine Presence rest upon him,” or as in says in a Midrash (Gen. Rabbah 17:5), “a dream is a variety of prophecy,” meaning there is a divine element to it. The Jewish mystical tradition believes that good dreams stem from the higher worlds as we learn from Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzatto (18th-century kabbalist). R’Luzzatto writes that dreams have a scientific approach that impacts our thoughts and emotions but also agrees with the Talmudic sages that dreams can have prophetic significance as well (see Derech Hashem 3:1:6). For Luzzatto when asleep the human soul interacts with external spiritual forces that in turn enters the subconscious awareness and affects the content of our dreams. Rabbi Chaim Volozhin, in the 19th century, explains that the relationship between the physical and spiritual aspects of dreams are made known by speech that bridges the spiritual and the physical worlds, speech articulates a dream-state into a reality.

Therefore, one of the takeaways in parasha Miketz is about valuing our dreams and the journey to understand them.  Okay maybe not everyone dreams, and maybe not everyone believes that dreams come from God, but we all have modes to create and process from another dimension or the sense of other, meaning that there are those who do believe that their dreams come from a divine source and/or inspiration; dreams you will know tomorrow or maybe not for another 20 years like Joseph.  A word of wisdom from Torah, which I value because of my own experiences, comes from Jacob, Joseph’s father. When Joseph shared his dreams to rule over his family he angered his father Jacob who responded with nothing but a thought; Jacob “kept the matter in mind” because he knew dreams, reminding us that dreams have purpose - so don't be quick to dismiss them.     

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Adam  

Breaking the chain of Generational Karma - Parasha Vayeishev, Genesis 37:1-40:23

Parasha Yayeishev begins the narratives about Joseph and his brothers that dominate the rest of Genesis. The words we read in Genesis really have a particular purpose, and they are to reflect the ways that Jews, really all people should strive to act since all human beings are fashioned with the divine image. Rabbi Ed Feinstein reflecting on the 2nd commandment, the one that says you shall not make any images of God, writes that we see God in each other; we are the image of God illuminated by our divine characteristics that we share with others daily.  But the human image can also be misappropriated and/or abused.  In this parasha we meet the ways of ga’avah (arrogance) and kin'ah (Jealousy or a grudge), something that I would say Rabbi Jonathan Sacks views as learned traits that do not represent that divine image.  As such, R’Sacks writes that the “tension” found in the prior relationship with Leah and her sister Rachel takes root in the next generation between their children, Joseph and his brothers. Unfortunately brokenness leads to generational unhealthiness, yet the Torah, vis-à-vis its teachings, also provides the cure. 

This parasha also contains a story within a story that at first glance may not seem connected but the opposite is so.  Yayeishev unfortunately begins poorly with negative, perhaps even learned interactions between Joseph and his brothers, ala R’Sacks above.  We read at the very start that Joseph brings (at least in the written Bible) an unspecified “bad report (about his brothers) to their father” that in turn angers them (Gen. 37).  After Joseph received a special Coat of Colors from his father, and had two dreams that one day he would rule over his family, his brothers “hated Joseph” because of his ga’avah (arrogance).  As a result they end up selling Joseph into slavery needing to create lies to cover up their misdeeds that are rooted in their kin'ah, jealousy of their brother.  Before the story continues about Joseph being a slave (see Gen. 39), we encounter the story of Judah and his children that appears out of know where; the story within the story (Gen. 38).  In this story Judah’s eldest son marries Tamar but then dies, so Tamar is wedded to Judah’s next son, per the laws of “levirate marriage,” who would die as well.  Judah did not want to risk losing his last son, so after a lengthy delay Tamar who feels wronged by Judah to be left as an agunah (lit. "a chained women," she is stuck as still considered married) deceives her father-in-law into sleeping with her (she dressed like a harlot) and becomes pregnant. Three months later Judah finds out that his daughter-in-law is pregnant and is furious that she did so outside of marriage, until the following.  Tamar sent Judah items that belonged to the man who made her pregnant, those being a family seal, the cord to wear it around her neck and a walking stick, which were Judah’s “down payment” for the harlot’s services.  In that moment Judah was humbled when he knew it was Tamar, recognizing that how she ended up responding was in compassion and kindness instead of revenge or anger.

What Judah did with Tamar was regrettable, both in denying her marital rights at that time and paying for her services as a harlot.  It was bold of Tamar to speak up since the tradition of the day stoned to death a woman who became pregnant out of wedlock.  So while Jewish tradition gives varying reasons why this story was inserted in the middle of the Joseph story, I believe it is there to teach us a lesson about our better inspired humanity that is shaped by the divine image within while Joseph and his brothers are engrossed in their family squabbles and lost in conflict.   In fact Rabbi Jonathan Sacks would even say that what Tamar did with Judah was virtuous, her actions would “become a model” of behavior that fueled the words of the Talmud (Bava Metzia 59a) that says; “It is more comfortable for a person to cast himself into a fiery furnace, than to humiliate another in public to avoid being cast into the same furnace.”  Tamar could have called Judah out, telling everyone that it was her father-in-law that was the father of her child, but she elected to keep it between them and not to shame her father-in-law, or herself, in public.  We read in another Midrash (Genesis Rabbah 24:7), “Rabbi Tanchuma says, “If you do this (shame another) -- know that God made the person you put to shame also in [the divine] image,” meaning that when you wrongly shame another person you shame God.  For Tamar the divine image within Judah deserved respect, not shame.

Joseph brought shame upon his brothers by giving an unspecified evil report and by his arrogance whereas the brothers brought shame on Joseph by selling him into slavery as well as to their father by their lies.  In the midst of all that the Torah via the story of Judah and Tamar wants to at that same moment remind us that the divine image is one of love and respect. Keep in mind we are talking about unhealthy shame that our tradition compares to murder!  It is sad that we see this type of shame with children to each other via social media or with our politicians in Washington either within their own party or on the other side of the isle, not to mention everyone in-between in all walks of life. Unhealthy shaming has become common place and is far too easily accepted as the norm.  This week’s reading wants to tell us that in the midst of the brokenness of Jacob’s children Tamar reminds us of one of Judaism's central commandments; love another like yourself, or per the interpretation of Hillel, do not do to others what you do not want done to you, recalling that the cure for many ills can be found in our mutual respect for one another per the voice of Torah.  

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Adam  

The Nature of Jacob's Fear Might not be what We Thought - Parasha Vayishlach, Genesis 32:4-36:43

On Yom Kippur we do T’shuvah (returning to our better selves) that can include repentance, and therefore the need to ask for forgiveness.  In so doing Jewish tradition recognizes that we have a dual relationship to T’shuvah; Bein Adam Lamakom, between an individual and God, and Bein Adam Lachavoro, between an individual and another individual.  Seeking forgiveness from God when we have wronged another only has so much value when in reality we need to approach the wronged person and ask for their forgiveness.  Not an easy task and one that can be fear inducing; what happens if they do not accept what you came to offer?

After 22 years this is what Jacob is dealing with concerning his estranged brother Esau. Prior to their meeting we read that Jacob more than once had struggled with his connection to God (Bein Adam Lamakom) but now it’s a familiar connection that he must overcome in is brother (Bein Adam Lechavoro), a brother that he wronged more than once.  More than likely with that “fearful gut feeling” Jacob watched as his brother approached him, with his 400 men; the Torah tells us; “Esau ran to greet him. He embraced him and, falling on his neck, he kissed him; and they wept” (Gen. 33:4), Jacob was probably a little confused although maybe that was what he hoped for. Yet before that encounter, we read when Jacob heard that Esau was coming with his small army, he was “greatly frightened in his anxiety” (Gen. 32:8).  A Midrash (Bereshit R. 76:2) asks the question why use two different words that carry the same meaning?  In response, to that Midrash, Rabbi Jonathan Sacks writes that those emotions are “physical and psychological,” making them perhaps similar but not identical although the result was the same - Jacob feared what might happen.  Further according to that same Midrash Jacob just did not respond the way he did because he was afraid of Esau’s words 22 years earlier, although while you cannot say that was not in play on some level, his concern was more so the unknown in the present. In this case Jacob’s “fear” was about what might happen to him whereas his “anxiety” was that he might have to kill to protect what was his. While Jacob is flying blind regarding what might happen he does not want that to impact how he reacts to meeting his brother once again.

After the two brothers embrace, Esau looks at all that Jacob has (instinctively knowing that his brother wants to appease him), and says “I have enough, my brother; let what you have remain yours.” In response Jacob then says “No, I pray you; if you would do me this favor, accept from me this gift; for to see your face is like seeing the face of God, and you have received me favorably. Please accept my present which has been brought to you, for God has favored me and I have plenty. And when he urged him, he (Esau) accepted” (Gen. 33:9-11).  In v. 10 Jacob brings his “tribute” (minchati, lit. ‘My tribute’) to his brother and in v.11 that tribute he calls a “gift” (birchati, lit. ‘My gift’).  In this case Jacob just did not want to bring Esau any old gift but wanted to give him his rightful blessing (same root as birchati, which is baruch that means "to bless"). Jacob is recalling that his brother missed his blessing so many years earlier and wants to, with no strings attached, bless his brother in the present.  This would be how Jacob asked for forgiveness from his brother (Bein Adam Lachavoro). 

To Jacob’s hope Esau accepted his gift, and they made amends, but I do not think Jacob's willingness to give was contingent on how Esau responded. Surely Jacob was willing to address the past but was more concerned about the present and beyond, but what happened if Esau rejected his gesture?  On that topic Jewish tradition teaches that after seeking forgiveness three times you have fulfilled your obligation, but the wronged person is also obligated to forgive, although it surely does not always work that way.  Jacob could have been shunned, rejected, made to grovel, shammed or been the subject of revenge. In their cultural tribal disrespect was met with violence, but this story, and later with Joseph and his brothers not to mention Yom Kippur, the Bibles view of forgiveness is about love and reconciliation not vengeance.

Today, why don’t people have that attitude, even people of the Bible, asking for forgiveness and it being accepted is illusive. I will be honest; I do not always find it easy going to others I have wronged (or have been misunderstood by) because I am fearful of how they might react, even more so those who are close to me like family and friends. What happens if my gesture is thrown back in my face, what if my desire to make amends is not embraced and the conflict continues, what happens if they belittle me and make me feel unworthy, what happens if I did not get any results, what is the point?  I might be a Rabbi but I am human with emotions. I know others who share those questions, and it is too bad that we even have to carry, and in too many cases bury, those concerns. Other times it’s not about forgiveness but being beholden; I know you want to give me something but then I owe you, so no thanks – taking away or losing out on someone just wanting to be kind.  So here is where Jacob is our example; he gives a gift for reconciliation and does get what he wants, but he gave his gift regardless of how his brother reacted.  Maybe if we stuck our neck out a bit more albeit an apology or just simply acts of kindness we might be presently surprised how others respond; that is the Jewish way after all.

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Adam  

Close Encounter Moments - Parasha Vayeitzei, Genesis 28:10-32:3

In order to comprehend the actions of Jacob in this week’s parasha, Vayeitzei, we have to reflect on Esau’s choices in last week’s parasha, Toledot.  Regardless if Esau could have been helped by a better supportive family at the end of the day he alone was responsible for the choices he made, and as we shall see, the same is so with Jacob.

This week’s parasha begins with a dream, a dream that most of us learned as kids, either in religious school or by playing the game "Chutes and Ladders" (Gen. 28:12-15). In the dream there are ladders going from earth to the heavens, with Angels going up and down on them, and God also descended to the physical earth and stood right beside Jacob as they spoke.  In this dream Jacob was told by God, “I am the God of your father Abraham and the God of Isaac,” and according to the same promise made to them, “Your descendants shall be as the dust of the earth [and] all the families” of the earth will be blessed by “your descendants,” God also reminding Jacob that “I am with you: I will protect you wherever you go and will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.”

It is how Jacob responds that is of interest. Jacob does not dissect his dream to question if it was real or not, but in using the words of Martin Buber, Jacob describes the mystery of his dream by  “creating language” understood by the masses to convey its mystical nature.  The meaning for Jacob is what it means to him which is; If God remains with Jacob, providing him with necessities like food and clothing then Jacob will return home to carry on the promises made to his father and his father’s father. But let’s stop here and take just a moment to reflect on Esau in this same light. While not a dream, Esau was given a birthright (Gen. 25:31), which held the same purpose.  In this case this birthright meant that as the oldest he would one day be “filling the father’s position of head of the family once the father passed away” (Rabbi David Kimhi), a position that was about the “sacrificial service [of the things of God that] were then carried out by the first-born sons,” in fact it was like being a Kohen, or a Priest (Rashi). Firstly, for both Esau and Jacob whatever would happen would be in the future and not in the now, which is why Esau said I am hungry today so what good is a birthright tomorrow. Secondly, Esau rejected his father’s concerns about marriage partners because he did not get what he wanted in the immediate whereas Jacob agreed to return to his homestead sometime in the future with the condition that God took care of him in the now.  And thirdly, in light of life’s disappointments Esau and Jacob choose to each responded differently.  Esau chose to be angry and seek revenge over Jacob’s exploits, but Jacob after years of subjection to Laban’s unfair treatment choose the higher path over not letting his anger own him.    

In fact, it is how Jacob responds to Laban that we want to take note of.  After getting his opportunity to respectfully tell his uncle what he thought after 20 years of labor (even if Jacob benefited he was deceived by Laban), when all is said in done he responds, “לוּלֵ֡י (lulay), which means “had it not been,” or “unless” the “God of my father’s - the God of Abraham and the Fear of Isaac—had been with me, you (Laban) would have sent me away empty-handed ...”  For Jacob the blessings of family and riches he had after 20 years with Laban have foundation in how he responded to his dream all those years earlier, believing that despite all that had happened God had been with him (lulay) so he triumphed.  Esau was angry and chose a path that lead to a people who were wicked.  There is a Midrash that teaches how both Esau and Jacob started out on the right path, but later Esau would “ruin himself with his deeds.”  Esau and Jacob despite the unfairness of life elected different directions: for Jacob it was the way of the divine image that aspired him to seek higher values in life whereas for Esau he could not conquer his Yetzer haRah, or evil inclination, so he fell victim to it.

A Lesson we learn from this parasha is the power of our encounters to provoke positive change in our humanity and discover and/or awaken the divine within. Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel writes that a sense of God, which he calls the ineffable, “inhabits the magnificent and the common,” just like a dream vis-à-vis a birthright! According to tradition evening prayer (Maariv) was instituted by Jacob who had his encounters with God at night (see both Gen. 28:12-15 and 32:25-32), and when we encounter prayers they invoke a change within the human spirit.  Herschel also wrote “we do not create the ineffable, we encounter it,” and the rest was a matter of choice for Esau and Jacob how that would impact them.  We also will encounter moments in our day, most overtly ordinary and some personally spiritual, but then like with Esau and Jacob how we respond is a matter of choice.   

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Adam  

The Mental Health of Esau

Given the events of the 7 people being killed at a Walmart last night – a Walmart 15min from where I live – on the heels of what happened in Colorado Springs, CO this past weekend, this week’s blog is driven by those tragic events (amongst others of course).  This shooting also made me recall the story a young boy who had anger issues, so his father told him that every time he was angry he needed to put a nail in the back fence.  Eventually the young boy had no more need to put nails in the fence; he learned to control his anger, so he shared this accomplishment with his father.  The father then told him to remove a nail from the fence each day he was not angry, and after a few months there was no more nails left in the fence. The father used the opportunity to teach him a very important lesson, saying; “My son, in the same way the nails have left marks in the fence that need to be repaired, anger can leave permanent scares on a person that we cannot see.”  This story made me further think of what we could not see in those who needlessly kill and therefore about the mental health of Esau.     

In this week’s parasha, Toledot (descendants) we read about Esau who is the first twin to come out of his mother’s womb; Jacob came out next grasping the heel of his brother as he entered the world; the grandchildren of Abraham and Sarah (Gen. 25:26).  While we have no direct background information about his childhood that may tell us why Esau rejects his birthright (although we do in a Midrash), instead opting for the food prepared by his brother Jacob after a long day of hunting (Gen. 25:32).  Yet later Esau sobs at the loss of his blessing to that same brother; perplexing (Gen. 27:34).  Regarding Esau, we meet three Esau’s in our Holy texts, the one in the written Torah, the Esau of the first temple period and the Esau of Rabbinic literature.   In the written Torah the late Rabbi Jonathan Sacks writes that Toledot seeks to capture “our sympathies” throughout this chapter for Esau rather than Jacob. Well this is the reality; Jacob could have fed Esau without manipulating the birthright and what type of son deceives his own father and metaphorically punches his brother in the gut, again!  In the text Esau was a troubled young man more than he was a bad guy, the Talmud teaching that Esau had the free-will to choose his path (Niddah 16b).  The view of Esau being a purveyor of wickedness seems to have been the prevailing view of the latter books of Tanakh (Old Testament; see Psalm 137:7 of Obadiah 1:18), which then fed the view that Edom and Esau came to represent Rome, an enemy of the Jews who was responsible for the destruction of the second Temple, and later negative Rabbinic views. 

The Rabbinic view, as taught by Rashi, recalls a Midrash that says when Rebekah’s children leaped in her womb Jacob would do so as they passed a house of Torah and Esau would do so when they passed a place of idolatry.  In fact Rabbi Shlomo Chaim Kesselman (Chabad) teaches that Isaac actually wanted his son Esau to discover his lofty soul, his own divine image, gifted with extraordinary spiritual powers, Isaac wanted to shower Esau with the Godly light that would empower him to pull through his struggles, whereas Rebekah recognized that the blessings would be ineffective in empowering Esau, so she helped Jacob to decisive his father Isaac to give Jacob the blessings instead. R’Kesselman further teaches that in response to Esau’s rightful objections his father Isaac seems to also have become soiled, saying, “If it is true that you sold him your birthright, then he is the one who deserves the blessings.”  Esau became a symbol of wickedness and unfaithfulness in Judaism.   

Can you image, in the story I shared, how the young boy with the anger issues might have turned out if his father did not believe in him?  Perhaps Esau just rejected his birthright because he was not in the same place as Jacob spiritually and did not see the value of the birthright over his hunger?  Perhaps Esau cried the way he did over the blessing because by then he recognized the importance of those family values? Perhaps Esau would have not gone out and married a Canaanite woman against his father wishes if his own mother loved and believed in him as opposed to helping Jacob steal what was not his?  Perhaps Esau would have turned out differently, and therefore our tradition as well, if Esau had the support of his family as he was figuring life out?  Therefore, I wonder if we pay more attention as a society would we help to prevent these needless killings? I wonder how things may look today concerning people’s destructive and deadly actions if we find better ways to address this part of people’s needs much earlier.  I wonder why we just do not hear enough conversation about this societal scare that impacts all of us?  I could go on. 

Be grateful for everyday and Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Adam  

Which Brotherly Bond Will you Follow

Parasha Chayei Sarah is the conclusion of the lives of both Abraham and Sarah, almost like book ends, Sarah dies at the beginning and Abraham dies at the end.  In between we have Abraham seeking the preservation of the promises made to him by God in Genesis 12:1 about a land and seed.  Abraham did this by purchasing the cave of Macpeilah as a burial ground for his family to secure rights to the land for the future and found a wife (Rebecca) for his son Isaac to continue the progeny of the people.  This third parasha about Abraham completes the trilogy of events about his life that is an ongoing definition of what the community of God, Israel, are to act like as the recipients of Torah who are to be the voices and the hands of the Divine in the world.    

This past week here in America we had our midterm elections to determine who would have the majority control of the House and the Senate.  What we know so far is that the Republicans have taken the House and the Democrats at best will hold the tiebreaker if not the majority vote of the Senate; two very close races.  Okay, well we know the country is politically polarized right now, but the question is can they work together and what will be the outcome if they cannot?  I am not here to offer my opinion on those questions more so than I want to look to see what this week’s parasha can teach us regarding those questions.

In Genesis 25:9 and in the Haftarah, from 1 King 1:5-14, we have the story of two sets of brothers; Abraham’s sons Ishmael and Isaac who we met last week in Vayeira and in 1 Kings this week we meet Adonijah and Solomon, two of King David’s sons who were at odds over who would sit on the throne after their father dies.  Here are the similarities; Abraham and David are dying (David dies in 1 Kings 2:10) and the dissimilarities; how their sons handle the situation.  Beginning with David his two sons are enemies of sorts according to the text. King David, while on his death bed, had to intervene by making sure that Solomon would be king as he promised and not Adonijah who unjustly usurped the throne.  In the end Adonijah is assassinated (after David dies) for seeking to marry his father’s concubine, Abishag the Shunammitte, as a way to ascend the throne perhaps to unseat Solomon who is now the rightful King.  There is also no evidence that as their father was dying they came together to ensure their dad that they would take care of the family and the kingdom’s success. Conversely we have the story of Ishmael and Isaac who came together to bury their father after he died.  If we recall the last time Ishmael saw his brother (Isaac) was when Sarah told Abraham to kick Hagar and Ishmael out of the family camp, depending on your dating, some 60 years earlier!  If we embrace the tradition of the Talmud (Bava Batra 16) that says Ishmael did t’shuvah (repented) by accepting that Isaac was the rightful seed even though he was the youngest (just like with Adonijah and Solomon) then it is not a stretch to also suggest that they both stood by their father’s bed together, each holding one of their dad’s hands, as Abraham breathed his last breath. After Abraham died, both Ishmael and Isaac prospered, and while Arab and Jewish history is replete with conflict both communities stand strong.  Yet, Adonijah and Solomon began a series of inter and intra family conflicts that would lead to the demise of the Davidic Kingdom within 400 hundred years.  

It was only a few years ago that the Abraham Accords saw four Arab counties join Jordan and Egypt to make peace with their brother (Israel) from another mother (Abraham is their joint father), not really getting the fanfare it deserved because of the political issues in our country (I’ll leave it at that).  That is a result of what happens when brothers work together for a common goal.  Likewise, maybe our country is divided equality between red and blue seats, but they can choose to work together, which is why we pray for our government, or they can be like Adonijah and Solomon; we all know how that ended. What about us, at work or with friends and even family, what does it take to work together with others who we just do not see eye to eye with or even care for?  So in the case of Ishmael and Isaac the honoring of their father was a bigger deal than their personal disagreements. The heart of Torah encourages community and acceptance, despite any diversity, loving your neighbor as yourself and forgiving those who have committed wrong as much as we have the power to do so; the Torah constantly asks us to reevaluate what is important for the desired result before reacting.  Which brotherly bond will you follow in this case is a statement as opposed to a question. Good food for thought.

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Adam